Saturday, February 28, 2009

If life were easy...it wouldn't be hard!

When I decided to start blogging, I wanted to be able to have a place to journal all the cute-fun things that our family is doing. I wanted to be able to write my feelings down and be able to remember all the things that I am blessed with and have to be thankful for. But this past month I have honestly had such a hard time feeling very blessed or even being very thankful for much. As long as I can remember February has been my very least favorite month of the year. February seems to me to be the longest month out of the year-not the shortest!!

I remember the first day of February this year, so well. I woke up that morning and felt like I had been ran over by a train. Every inch of my body ached, my head was pounding and my throat felt like I had swallowed a porcupine!! I wish today I would have listened to my body trying to tell me to stay in bed, and just slept the entire month of February 2009 off! I remember looking at the calendar later that day, and staring at the LONG 28 days ahead in the longest month of the year! I told myself that I could do it, that I would have a great February and not get depressed this year. Oh WOW!! I often wonder if the things that get me so down in February would get me as depressed in any other month. No, no one has passed away that I love, and the things that have gotten me down are mostly material things. But none the less hard to try and figure out when you try so hard, why so many bad things still have to happen. As I have tried these past few weeks to stay upbeat and not lose it, I have honestly prayed for an end to the misery, for some good news and happy times. Then I remembered that in order for me to really know happiness and appreciate my blessings, I must also know pain and suffering. If life gave us everything we asked for and we never had to suffer, we would never grow and never truly be happy. No, this doesn't make the hardships any easier to endure, but it helps us be grateful for the good times once the hardships have passed.

So as the longest-shortest month of the year comes to an end, I know that someday I will look back on February 2009 and appreciate it for what it gave me. It has helped me remember that the most important things in life are being with the people I love-nothing else really matters. And that as unpredictable as I know life is, things can always get worse, but they can also always get better!!

Side note to self: Run away to Mexico, Hawaii or the Caribbean next February!!

7 comments:

Angela said...

I LOVED the side note...Let's do it girl! I'm so relieved to hear that others are as down as me...it's normal. LOL I don't mind Feb as much as Jan because of V-day and my birthday and I know spring is next...But Jan is the biggest let down after Christmas and I hate new beginnings! Weird. I'd love a new beginning somewhere warm though. Next year let's just plan lots of fun stuff during those dreary months...girls nights out..dinner..movies..(besides our tropical trip) Now I'm actually looking forward to next winter already!

Ellie McFreaken said...

Jodi...thanks for this post and honesty. I think we all feel that way. This month has been such a downer for me to and I can't put my finger on why.
All I can say is bring on spring and the warmth I am tired of all this doggon cold!
It's March today...yeah let's celebrate!
You're awesome Jodi!!!

GINGER said...

These are my favorite kind of posts. They are REAL. I think it is so easy to look in on others lives and think that everything is perfect for them. (I always say that someday I am going to be as positive and on top of it as you) It is nice to realize none of us are alone in our struggles. This is a really hard time of year, just dreary. THANKS for this post. I needed to to start my week.

Becky A said...

Oh, you're awesome, Jode. I hope you start feeling better. Sounds like maybe your visiting teachers have been slacking... :)

Jeni said...

I loved this post too jodi. I think more people suffer from seasonal depression than we realize. :)
I loved that you found the good in all your yucky-ness. The whole "opposition in all things" is one of my favorites. I'm always trying to get my kids to understand that principle.... they just roll their eyes at me....if all we ever had was good...we wouldn't even know it was good!
Here's to planning something fun...hey! We have Bunco this week! Yippeeeee! I still think we should go to dinner or lunch or hawaii or the moon palace or something...

Jenny Lee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenny Lee said...

Jodi, you're awesome. I'd never guess that you could become depressed. You always have such a big smile on your face. I hope things will pick up for you and get better. I think you're already headed in the right direction. Counting your blessings and then getting outside yourself and helping others is the best medicine I've experienced.